Gravity Defyer Shoes! Hyperbole Defyer Marketing!

I may be the only person in the world who actually read all the copy, but I couldn't help myself when I saw an ad in The Atlantic featuring the grinning zealot in the double-breasted suit, springing forward, briefcase in one hand, shoe in the other. (It was a third shoe. I checked his feet and they were both clad.)

"Catapult your career with the elegant shoe of the future," the copy read, "Invented by Alexander Innovation Wizard," one Alexand Elnekaveh, who is, I believe, the very shoe-in-hand zealot.

Just how could I resist reading all the copy in this ad, even though it was very dense (full page) and in something like 5 pitch type.

I learned that the Gravity Defyer Shoe  - which, as pictured, looks like it's made out of some type of cheesy material (Corfam, anyone?) - is based on shock absorber technology used to help buildings withstand earthquakes. When embedded in the GD shoe, the shock absorber gives your body a little push forward, promising you "a more active lifestyle."

In fact:

Unlike traditional dress shoes that you can't wait to take off to relive your feet at the end of along day, your feet will actually be begging to put back on the Gravity Defyer Shoe.

How much fun it must have been to write this copy.

It's almost as if Aelous, the Greek god of wind, himself had taken his powerful wind out of his bottles and put it into each of the Gravity Defyer Shoes.

And this:

We all have them, and expensive pair of dress shoes for those "special occasions."...The shoes that world famous Secret Agents wear to the black tie party where they end up doing some reconnaissance before they are chased around a European city by evil henchmen...You will feel like you can keep up with the best of World Famous Secret Agents when you are wearing the Gravity Defyer Shoe...The Gravity Defyer Shoe will provide you with access to a breakthrough in your active lifestyle all while looking like a distinguished gentleman deserving of a cover story in a quality men's magazine.

Given the copy, I'm surprised that they didn't put words in the mouths of those whose leaden testimonials are featured in a call out:

"Best shoes I have ever had on my feet...I will order 2 more pairs." Zane Carson of Joelton, TN

"I tried them on and they feel great!" Roger O. Davis, Atlanta GA

"I love them very much, they are very comfortable." Joseph Pessitti, Melrose Park IL

The GD is more than just a shoe. It's actually something of a Maxwell Smart gadget (they did mention secret agents, didn't they?) that can be ordered, appropriately enough, at  a place called Gadget Universe

Of course, the Gravity Defyer's real magic is that it will make you "appear nearly 2" taller."

This ad is either inspired marketing or over-the-top silliness. Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference. It sure caught my interest. (I will not, however, point it out to my husband. He may very well want to be 2" taller but I don't think I want to be seen out with him if he's wearing plastic shoes.)